he is so beautiful

he is so beautiful

but i did not see it until i closed my eyes and all

and i heard him pray with words celestial

not with worry not tempermental

not that the outside is not fine

but the inside was close to divine

for what is housed in his heart

was observed almost like art

it came to me a masterpiece starting

as a plate with paint filled pegs sparkling

on a summer day a mushy hot mess

to see it transform after a brush stroke and guess

into reality something i saw with my soul

a mature old soul

mecifully placed

in an empty young rebellious case

you were stopped at the moment

you thought your goals were being kept

but when you decided to take things into

your own hands and present you to

the world, God squeezed your heart and you fell

only to have Him lift you up and you could tell

you knew fairly well

that you were protected from the gates of hell

he is quite special and has been touched

by the Almighty Father and pretty much

nothing will stop him

except him

he cannot stop

and should not stop

because he has come too far now

to even question how

God has taken him so far

and from his past placed afar

to the spiritually discerned the beauty within

outshines and wins

the beauty from out

that without a doubt

is there

but where

does it fit in the scheme

of his life in the scene

of the moment

i saw with my eyes, shut and all

that he is so beautiful

(c)November 21, 2007 / Leticia Soto

Get A Clue!

I wish people would get a clue. I mean if you are cut off and have never been added again, then hello that means I do not want you to have any part in my life. I mean come on! I do not respond to any means of you trying to communicate with me. So why do you insist on trying to involve yourself back in my life? You bacame toxic in my life and I could not breathe. The funny thing is that I did not realize this until you were the one who pulled the plug on me. I never pulled it. You did. So deal with your decision. I noticed that I was able to breathe on my own and that I was your life support. You sucked me dry of all my energies like a leech.

The past was nice and there are good memories, but that is just it. It is only a good memory. I can't say that I have anything else nor would I want to. What does it take for you to get a clue? I get the clue! Of course I do not like to assume and I rather have people tell me that they are cutting me off than finding out via other means (like just dropping me and never telling me what you are mad about or me trying to figure it out by myself). However, once I figured it out, I kept my distance and moved on. It hurt, yes but it did not kill me.

So that is all I ask. I want you to leave me the heck alone and stop trying to be nice. I do not want you to be nice. Just be you. Let me be just me.

For the record, I do not hate you. Not at all. I love God and myself and my salvation too much to lose any of it because of a bitter root. No. I still love you in the Lord and only wish you the best. However, I have a scar of a healed wound caused by you that is a constant reminder that I should not "go there". So I will not "go there". It is that simple. And don't give me that mumbo jumbo about being a Christian. Paul is one of the greatest examples I love in the bible. He had a very close relationship with the Lord. However he and Barnabas did not see eye to eye and they had to part ways. They dealt with each other later on after time passed but it was never the same as it was in the beginning.


So do not go there. Do not bother yourself in telling me how happy you are for me. I am really not interested. Sounds cold? Well to a certain extent it is cold. Your caring is not really a priority in my list. It is really not important for me to know because wether you do or you don't makes no impact in my life. Life goes on and so should you.

If I see you I most like will say, "Well hello. Nice seeing you again. Hope is well and take care. Bye". That is it. There will be no coffee or lunch date. That no longer will benefit us.

You became toxic and I wanted to live. Too bad that cutting you off was the end result. Again, life goes on and so should you.